Jokes using quotation marks

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TYPES OF PUNS

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. – Fred Allen

There are a lot of various puns in our English language. A pun uses the play-on-word technique. Puns are humor made with an acoustical knot. It uses a word or phrase with two different meanings and interpretations. The pun works because the English language is so ambiguous. Most puns you will never use, but to give you a feel for the pun, we will look at some of the more unusual ones.

SPOONERISM: The reversal of letters in a sentence. It is named after Rev. W.A. Spooner (1844-1930) who was a distinguished Anglican clergyman who accidentally interchanged initial sounds.

“Is it kisomary to cuss the bride?”

“Watch that fellow, he is dain bramaged.”

A farmer builds himself a home completely out of Kentucky bluegrass, and uses the second and third floors for his impressive collection of the chairs of kings, purchased from kingdoms around the world. The chairs are all ornate and all beautiful, and the farmer spends much of his time taking excellent care of them.

One day, the farmer decides that it is time to fertilize the bluegrass that makes up the structure of the house, and he moves all of his precious chairs to the attic. He carefully spreads fertilizer on the third floor, and then waters it. Satisfied, he goes to the second floor and repeats the process. He fertilizes the family quarters on the first floor, and finally goes down to the basement to finish his job.

While he’s down there, there is a tremendous creaking. The weight of the chairs is too much for the attic floorboards, and the chairs come crashing down. They crash through the third, second, and first floors, and crush the poor farmer to death. The moral of the story: People in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones. (If you have to say after a joke, “Forgive me for that one.” You probably shouldn’t use it.)

TOM SWIFTIES: It was made famous from Tom Swiftly books. Here the pun word is used as an adverb. This humor was used in a fictional character for a series of children books written by Edward L. Stratemeyer. “Let’s go to McDonald’s,” said Tom archly. “I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

MALAPROPISMS: Using a word that sounds like an actual word but isn’t. Think of any Saturday Night Live show where President Bush is being mimicked. There are a few others. But these puns are not what give puns a bad name. What gives puns a bad name are the type called Pun III.

A pun is the lowest from of wit especially if you didn’t say it first. – Oscar Levant

Pun type III are puns where the words used are inexact sound-alikes. These words are distorted. For example,

Be alert. After all, the world needs more lerts.

An early winter is Novemberrr.

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. After weeks without eating, one man said, “Why are we starving? Let’s go over to that bacon tree and gets some bacon.” The second said, “There’s no such thing as a bacon tree.” “There is too a bacon tree,” insisted the first man. He proceeded to march over to the other side of the island. After several hours he returned with his body full of arrows. “You were right,” he gasped to his friend. “That wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a ham bush.”

I doubt that you would ever use that joke in a homily, but it is clever enough to be told in a social setting. The problem with Pun III is when the words being used are too vague, silly or stupid. For example: My neighbor is a Doctor and he has a garden by my house. I call it a Dockyard. These are just some of the many types of puns out there. However silly, they meet the definition of play-on-words.

Vague vs. Ambiguous

Before we discuss the type of puns that can be used for homilies, we need to make a distinction between the words: vague and ambiguous.

Vagueness is defined as being not clearly expressed, while ambiguous is defined as an expression with more than one interpretation. Puns are considered bi-ambiguous or having two different interpretations. All puns have this and must therefore be crafted carefully. Vagueness is confusion and is poor communication. When you are using puns, never be vague. It won’t get laughs. The puns that can be used effectively in a homily are called Pun type I and Pun type II. They are funnier because they are more realistic.

Pun Type I and Pun Type II

TYPE ONE

Invisible pun. Homographic Puns: The use of multiple meanings from a single spelling.

TYPE TWO

Sound alike but not look alike.

Homophonic Puns: The use of similar sounds with different spellings.

Type One Examples

A daydreaming student wanted to quit school to work in a factory making frozen orange juice. He didn’t get the job because he couldn’t concentrate. The number of Americans who are overweight has reached nearly ninety million. Of course, that’s in round figures.

Type Two Examples

A glassblower inhaled and got a pane in the stomach. As Noah remarked ungrammatically while the animals were boarding the Ark, “Now I herd everything!” Then, there was Paul. He really couldn’t handle the stuff. Paul would get s smashed we’d literally have to carry him home. I know. I was one of his regular Paul (pall) bearers.

The inveterate punster follows conversation as a shark follows a ship. – Stephen Leacock

Creating Type Puns I and II

Step One: Find a topic that you want to use. It might be your homily theme or a current event.

Step Two: Make a list of keywords related to your topic (a large list).

Step Three: Take the list of words and circle any that can be interpreted in more than one way.

Step Four: Get creative and start connecting the words with ideas.

Step Five: Put these words into a clear sentence. You could also make a story out of the punned words, but unless you are good at writing stories, I recommend that you stay with the one-liner. It gets a laugh just as loud as the anecdote.

For this example, the homily theme being used is that “Christians can never retire.”

Step One: I am writing a homily using the theme retirement and that we as Christians will never retire. In the same week, Brett Favre was coming out of his NFL retirement.

Step Two: I came up with a long list of retirement words and NFL words.

Step Three: I came up with the words “never retire” and “pass away.”

Step Four and Five: I finally came up with a Pun I:

Old quarterbacks never retire, they just pass away… unless you are Brett Farve.

Using the same method I also came up with a pun II:

I don’t care if Brett Favre comes out of retirement. In my opinion he is the best quarterback until he proves me different. He is still the “King of the Throne” (Thrown.) The key to this method is to come up with a large list and being creative enough to put those words together into a meaningful sentence. It helps to invest in a good homonym book.

A pun is a pistol discharged at the ear. – Charles Lamb

Sometimes the punning isn’t an ambiguous word but is a twist on a common phrase or cliché. There are two general types – the Reforming Phrase and the Take-Off Phrase.

Reforming Phrases Examples

You take a standard phrase, cliche or idiom, and alter it for comic effect. For example:

I’m as pure as the driven slush.

Every crowd has a silver lining.

Most girls today have a keen sense of rumor.

The Take-Off Examples

The Take-Off is another way to use a standard phrase for comic effect, but instead of altering the phrase, you take the phrase and add a funny conclusion.

For example:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

Creating the Reforming Phrase and the Take-Off

Step One: Find a topic that you want to use. It might be your homily theme or a current event.

Step Two: List a lot of standard phrases on your topic. (Get some good books on quotations and clichés.)

Step Three: Take the phrases and start creatively reforming them.

Step Four: Take the phrases and start to creatively take-off-ing them.

Step Five: Choose the best one for your homily.

The examples (below) for the reforming and take-off are from the theme of sin and wrongs:

Reforming: Two wrongs might make a riot.

Take-off: Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three will get you back on the freeway.

It helps to invest in a couple pun books and quotations/cliché books. It will make your life easier when looking for funny lines.

The nation whose people go in for puns is on a high level of culture. – G. C. Lichtenberg

You now have four good types of puns that can be used in the pulpit. Two are word puns, and two are phrase puns. This is more than enough pun material to use successfully in the pulpit.

EXERCISE:

This is an exercise to help you distinguish the four types of puns. Print I for pun I, and print II for pun II. Place an R for reforming, and a T for take-off. Answers are below.

____A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

____Every calendar’s days are numbered.

____Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

____A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

____A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

____When my wife saw he first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye!

____It’s an I for an I when two egotists meet.

____I know a baker who hired a loafer.

____Animals may be our friend, but they won’t pick you up at the airport.

____One thing about free advice, it’s usually worth it.

Answers:

1. II 6. II

2. I 7. T

3. II 8. I

4. R 9. T

5. R 10.T

This guide would not be complete without a discussion on connection jokes.

Connection Jokes

A connection joke is also called a cross-over joke. It works because it makes associations. The connection joke takes a different viewpoint on a word and can be considered as a pun. What is best about the cross-over joke is that it is very easy to switch and make new jokes from the old one.

“I’m worried about my son’s health.”

“What’s he got?”

“A motorcycle.”

When you think of “he’s worried about son’s health,” you think of some type of illness. However, you find out that “he’s worried about his son having a motorcycle. His nose was like an interesting book… it was red to the very end. The connection word is a pun of red (color) to Read (reading.) Now, let’s use the switching method to create new jokes. In the first example, take the set-up and punch line and switch it:

“I’m worried about my son.”

His friend asked, “Why?”

“Because he changed his major to political science.”

“Because he just bought a 70s polyester suit.”

The idea is to take his worry about his son’s health and switch it to being worried about his son’s schooling or his son’s clothing style.

In the second example, you can easily switch the set-up: His nose was like the (Bible; Reader’s Digest)… red to the very end. Or you can switch the punch line: His nose was like a book… 9 inches wide. His nose was like a book… thick with black marks on it. Or change both the set-up and the punch line: His nose looked like it fell off a ladder… it was black and blue. The trick is to change the book to literature and change the red to color.

When you change the keywords to something more general, you will be able to make new jokes. You will be using what the professional comedians call “crossing-over.” It is a good technique, and it will become easy to do with practice. The pun is mightier than the sword.

Conclusion

Once you apply these pun techniques in your homilies, you will come to realize that puns are not the lowest form of humor. They will become a good source for your humor. Here are the puns that we have covered:

Words

Pun I or invisible pun.

Pun II or sound-alike’s.

Phrases

Reforming

Take-Offs

Cross-Over or Switching Technique

Connection Jokes

On final note, it is highly recommended that you purchase a good dictionary, cliché book and a quotation book. When you start using the pun in your pulpit, you will find that you are truly punny person. (Pun intended.)

Jesse Krall is the developer of FunnySermons.com, the leading source of humorous sermon illustrations. His blog is available at http://sermonillustrations.lifewithchrist.org.

Article Source:

http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jesse_Krall


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